"In case you need an explanation, a real friendship is a long process of learning secrets about someone and then having them do things for you so you won't tell people about the cucumber and the BBQ tongs. Sometimes you think you have true friendship but then you come back from the Dairy Queen to find your roommate naked on top of your Neil Diamond records with your hairy Guatemalan neighbor, Sancho, doing magic tricks. The sight disgusts and confuses you, and while the magic tricks were entertaining, in the end all you're left with is a bunch of broken Neil Diamond records... And that's really what friendship is all about." - Eric Powell